Goodbye, BWE. Live long and prosper.

[Blanquito]

Goodbye, BWE. This is my final post. Rather than just disappear, I wanted to say goodbye. Despite it all, I have loved it here these last 20 years (I joined in the summer of 2003 on the old msn site) and learned so much and made so many friends.

You’re all welcome in Denver any time, drop me a line or come say hi on Berserkers once in a while.

[Michael-P]

What? Why? We love you!

[AKR]

[JimHow]

Patrick, you have predicted the demise of BWE on other occasions over the past two decades and have left in a huff before. This is not the first time you have employed this tactic. If you want to leave because it is so insufferable here then just leave. BWE will continue. I have made my displeasure about being lied to known and I’ll leave it at that. You can post dramatic headlines about leaving BWE, this is not the first time you have done so. You have employed this wedge tactic before of citing people who have supposedly found it so insufferable here, and yet BWE has indeed somehow lived on and prospered for over 23 years. I’m sorry that you have found it necessary to be so insulting to me personally because I have expressed hurt at being lied to by your group. If it makes you feel good to post such harmful threads to BWE then so be it. As I’ve said before, BWE is not for everybody. Best of luck to you.

[Comte Flaneur]

I have had a long hard think about it too, and sadly I have decided to stop posting on BWE indefinitely.

A mea culpa and public apology from Jim would make me change my mind but that would be out of character and I am not expecting it.

I can maintain the great friendships I have made here outside the scope of the forum so for most of you it is not a ‘goodbye’, it is a ‘see you later.’

[JimHow]

I’m sorry to hear that, Comte, you are right, I will not apologize. I can cut and paste the emails and texts from the afternoon of August 5th if you’d like me to, and then we can ask who should apologize to whom.

[Musigny 151]

Short of an apology, I too will be leaving.

Dale is a close and very dear friend, and this attack was unnecessary and disgusting. The reference to homelessness really stuck in my craw. Yes Dale was homeless for a while, but now runs (brilliantly) the organization that helped him, Midnight Run. That did not come easily, and how dare you use his homelessness to denigrate him. I thought better of you. It is a measure of how nasty the attack was, that it is causing such an upheaval here.

So sadly I too am gone. BWE has been a great meeting place and I have enjoyed my time here and the camaraderie it fostered. But there are limits to what even a BD can say, and this for me went way beyond that; especially with someone like Dale, who is is not only one of the nicest people you will ever meet, but also someone with a really fine palate.

[JimHow]

That's a fair point about the homelessness comment, Musigny, but the circumstances around the dinners remain unchanged in my mind. Dale is not a close friend of mine, but rather someone who has name called me as bipolar, etc.
We'll miss you and your insight.
The main purpose of calling out the behavior of the pro-Dale crowd at the August weekend in Manhattan was to point out that BWEers should not lie to each other. I just reread the texts and emails from August and it is even more egregious than I thought.
I'll keep posting on BWE, but if anyone else wants to leave they are free to do so.

[jckba]

Jim,

No matter what you think, airing your dirty laundry on a public forum was a poor decision. For someone who claims to welcome anyone in the BWE family, you sure are doing a great job of driving family away.

Blanquito, Comte, Musigny are all wine lovers that I’ve met thanks to this very forum, have shared wines with and respect.

Bordeaux Wine Enthusiasts should be about the great wines of Bordeaux and everything else should fall to the wayside. I would like you to put your personal issues aside and apologize for your part in the transgressions that have taken place, as losing valued members in this way is not in the spirit of the forum. You are and we are better than this.

[JimHow]

I'll listen to your advice and not post the emails and text messages publicly from August 5th, JC, that would likely inflame things further. Other than that, I'm hoping this can be put behind us and we can move forward. Without question I have been upset about what happened, not without cause, and I certainly will not apologize. Again, anyone is free to post or not post on BWE, I can only control my own posting activity.

[greatbxfreak]

Guys,

I don't know the reason for the personal attacks etc. but think some coolness was badly needed.

I have no desire to leave BWE right now.

[JimHow]

Hi GBF, thanks for your post. I appreciate your sentiment. Eventually, all things must pass. Regardless, we have had a great 23 year run.

The spat arose out of a "miscommunication" involving a weekend in Manhattan last month, but it also involves an underlying conflict that I have had with Blanquito throughout the history of BWE. This is not our first incident.

I have cut and pasted my reply to Ian from a friendly email he sent to me the other night asking again for an apology. It is the last I will say on the subject. I am very busy in court through the end of the year. I have moved on from the mishap in Manhattan and have forgiven those guys.

I'm scheduled to go to Bordeaux next week but I'm really not planning any in-person BWE events moving forward. I just turned 65 yesterday (the horror), and I've been reprioritizing my travel and entertainment budget.

In the end, for those who are concerned about BWE going forward, the only advice I can give you is to try to find some time to post positive comments on the site. I have moved on.

++++++++++++++++++++

Sigh, Ian, this is why I offered to cancel my Bordeaux trip. I'm concerned that this is just something you can't get past, and that it will be too awkward for the rest of the group. I was looking forward to fleshing this out with you over some fine northern Medocs in Bordeaux, but I really think I'm going to cancel out.

Please don't ask me again to apologize. I'm not going to apologize. Never. I’ve moved on, I’ve forgiven you guys for the mistreatment in Manhattan. Myself, Nicola, and others are going to keep posting positive notes on BWE. If you and your group are concerned about the future of BWE, I suggest you guys stop stewing and likewise post some positive messages, and move on. Otherwise, at some point, without fanfare, I will delete the site. Hey, all good things must come to an end. We’ve had a great run for the past 23 years. Folks can still hook up for dinners, etc., you don’t have to invite me. Seriously, BWE dinners are less of a priority for me in my travel and entertainment budget these days. Nicola is going to come visit me in Maine sometime soon, but other than Bordeaux next week I don’t really have any more plans for BWE gatherings moving forward.

And of course I’m just so busy with my law practice. I’ve got hearings all week with a big murder trial on the horizon. I’ve got an argument before the Maine Supreme Court next Tuesday before I head for the airport for my flight to Paris. I’m just too busy to deal with the drama. We're looking at a trip to Bali in late October and then I've got jury selection in a murder trial on November 13th that is preoccupying almost all of my time.

I’ve valued my friendships on BWE, Ian, but this is not a “crisis” for me. I’ve dealt with crises -- even death threats -- in politics, and my law practice, and other aspects of my life. This is not a crisis. BWE is a group of a couple dozen people who post on the site occasionally about grape juice. Some of them are not happy right now. Others I have received messages and calls from who are supportive.

I know you are close to Patrick. Patrick is not a friend of mine. Patrick has bad mouthed me publicly and privately before this incident, on multiple occasions. He has stormed off the site several times in the past because of the terrible things I have done and said. I have seen his act before, that so-and-so has left because of mean Jim, and I, Patrick, am not coming back, ever, best of luck to all of you. There have been stretches of years where Patrick has disappeared from the site. The only reason why I was invited to even the Friday night dinner in NYC was because I had his Krugs. If Patrick was so offended all he had to do was text me and ask me to delete my message. Instead, he chose again to scorch the earth of BWE. That led to two BWEers, you and Mark, to follow him. The brooding Marcus came out of six months of hibernation to pontificate his "disappointment" in me, that's pretty rich.

Having said all of the above, I want you to know that you are one of my favorite people in the world. I know you were put in an awkward position on the Saturday night dinner, I don't really blame you. I just remember being quite hurt when I was sitting there eating cold roasted chicken by myself on a Saturday night in Manhattan after we changed plans to have what I thought was going to be dinner with my friend from London. You know, the irony is I was actually sadder for Winona, who I had images of sitting in a hotel room by himself in his underwear watching TV. At least he made the cut for Saturday night.

I had actually posted a sort-of apology on the site for a few hours the other day but took it down because it would have satisfied nobody, including myself. I sort of agree with JC that I shouldn't air my dirty laundry in public. And Musigny is correct about my glib treatment of Dale's homelessness but Musigny can still piss off, if anyone thinks that I, who have devoted my life to the poor, am unconcerned about the homeless, well then piss off. I'm not big on self-righteousness.

The other thing that underlies a lot of this is my discomfort with BWE dinners in which only some people are invited and not others. It has been a tough balancing act for 23 years and I don't think there are any easy solutions. That's a longer discussion but I can assure you there are a number of BWEers who share my concerns about that.

Anyway.... I'm off to bed, I've got a busy week ahead in court. Take care my friend.

BD

[greatbxfreak]

Jim,

They are quite busy in Bordeaux right now with the harvest.

You can go at the end of your trip to either San Sebastian or Biarritz or St. Jean de Luz. Inoui (TGV) from Bordeaux to Hendaye is only 2.5 hours, then 45 min with local train to the center of SS. You can chill out alone in SS without any problems. It is a beautiful city with excellent bars and restaurants. Bordeaux itself is as interesting and worth digging in.

I go to Bordeaux myself in the end of next month for a week and have already organized some great visits.

[JimHow]

Indeed, Izak, we've scheduled visits to Branaire, Pavie Macquin, Tour St. Christophe, Belfont Belcier, off the top of my head, and a few other places, I know Tom has scheduled a couple others. I think Ian is trying to schedule GPL, I'd be interested in going there, I'm high on that estate these days. It's really only a surgical strike into France, I have a big court hearing Tuesday morning, flying from Boston overnight to Paris on Wednesday, Wednesday night in Paris then on to Bordeaux Thursday morning, hanging out with Alex, Tom and Gail on Thursday in Bordeaux, then going to St. Emilion on Friday where Timmy and (hopefully) Ian will join us, dinner at La Tupina on Friday night in Bordeaux, then left bank visits on Saturday, dinner at Alex's house on Saturday night, then back to Paris on Sunday and leaving back for the US on Monday, a US holiday. Unfortunately I've got to be back in court on Tuesday morning so it really is a quick trip to Bordeaux but I'm looking forward to the getaway.

I do indeed want to get to San Sebastián soon, though, perhaps in the spring.